Marion Barber, You F*cking Suck
Finally, after weeks of directing our hate toward guys on sidelines and in booths, we get to target an actual football player. This week, it’s Marion Barber III, who got the start for the reeling Chicago Bears with the venerable Matt Forte
refusing to play until he gets properly paid suffering a sprained MCL last week.
Barber actually performed quite admirably, notching 108 yards and the scoring the Bears’ lone touchdown. That is, he was fine until the final two minutes of regulation, when he abruptly turned back into a knuckleheaded second-stringer. First, MB3 inexplicably scampered for the sidelines, despite his team having the lead and the ball with under 2 minutes to go. Oh, and the defense was out of timeouts. The rule here: stay in bounds and you win. But Marion Barber is a rebel. He doesn’t follow the rules. He’s a noncomformist. So, what does he do? This:
Clock stops. Broncos get the ball back. The wings of Tim Tebow’s prayer lift Matt Prater’s 59-yard (!) figgy through the uprights. We go to OT, where Barber again has a chance to salt the game away. Instead, this happens:
You could have gone to the house, MB3. You could be a hero today. Instead, you lost the ball. Instead, Tebow put the Broncos in field goal range — which apparently is like midfield for Prater.
Instead, Marion Barber, you fucking suck.